The act of needing is not a bad thing.  It’s what we tell ourselves about needing that is toxic.

If you are human, you are needy.

There’s an old saying, shame the devil and tell the truth.  Truth be told, we all have the need to be touched, to be seen and heard, to be loved, to have our comfort be the goal of someone else other than ourselves.

Interdependence is a fact, not an opinion.

You can either live with the reality that no man is an island unto himself or you can die wanting.  it’s not what we desire and fail to receive that matters. Iit’s all the stuff we don’t have the balls to ask for that become the defining rhythms of our very being.

How many times have you needed something - money, help with a medical crisis, a pick me up speech, a connection, the comfort of a friend sitting with you in silence, and refused to ask.  Why?  I want you to ask yourself what is the worst possible thing that you imagine would happen if you voiced your need?  Is it really worth you continuing to go without?  If you answer yes, then you are consciously renewing a psychic contract with “not having”, “never enough”, “overlooked”, “unseen.”

Consider this: society’s aversion to needing is really about an aversion to vulnerability.  To graciously accept that we need others is a binding commitment to truth-telling.  Telling the truth about who we are, where we are, and what we need.

It’s important to remember that we are interdependent social beings - not only connected by our very natures, but connected also by our longing to matter.  It’s hardly surprising then that most of our joys and sorrows arise in the context of how well we can satisfy other’s needs while getting our own needs met.  Need is inherent to being.

Don’t apologize for your humanity.