Q.  What up Neycha.  I know you’re open minded so check this.  My girl and I've been together for a hot minute now and she’s always saying she wants a “honest and open” relationship.  She’s always pushing for info, attempting to be in my head every minute of the day.  Do I find this woman attractive, do I find that outfit sexy, on and on and on.  She claims that I don’t always just come out with it, whatever is on my mind.  My problem is this.  A couple of months ago she started in on sex.  Of course questioning whether I’m satisfied, turned on by her, have other fantasies, etc.  Attempting to be the honest dude I am, that she requested to be in a relationship with, I told her I fantasized about having a three-way with one of her girlfriends.  She went ballistic.  Accusing me of secretly wanting her girlfriend and saying that she could no longer trust me.  Her girl is fine, but I have NOT acted out of line once.  I have always respected my girl and her friends when they’re around.  Guess what.   Now my girl refuses for us to hang out with this particular girlfriend of hers and her man.  We use to kick it a lot with this particular couple.  Problem is every since we had that conversation about my fantasy, I been thinking about what it would really be like to be with her girl, and not just sexually.  We are generally more alike and I guess you could say there’s always been mad energy between us.  Do I follow that, being true to myself, or try to make good with this situation I’m in?
-Checking for mo’ better, Newark, NJ

A.  Dear Checking for mo’ better.
How old are you?! Your problem is some ‘ol bullshit, and I’m happy to the tenth degree that I don’t have to deal with it.  I hope your girl reads this and figures out she needs to leave you behind.

You haven’t sent along a photo or shared anything that would make me think you’re the hottest shit in the greater NYC/New Jersey area, but it’s obvious YOU think you are considering you believe you even have the option to step to your girl’s dear friend.  What makes you think she would want you so badly that she’d take on the drama of leaving her man behind to then hook up with the ex-fake dude of one of her girlfriends?  Dude, you must be shrooming!

You must also think everyone else is stupid, especially if you believe your girl should just let that personal fantasy slip to the peripheral.  I think not!  No doubt, you SHOULD be true to yourself and explore kicking it with any woman that gets your goat.  But in the future darling, don't be doing that kind of wussyness on another sistuh’s watch.  That’s rather punkish of you my friend.  Grow up!

Rock on,