He's Too "Tiny"

Tuesday, 02 March 2010 16:14 Written by Neycha

askNeycha_hiRes

Previously featured at ebonyjet.com

Q. Hey Neycha:
I’m assuming you hear my dilemma a lot from your clients and I’d love to know how you advise them on the following. I recently decided to stop seeing a guy I’ve been dating for about six weeks and am not sure how to tell him why. We have a lot in common, plus great conversations and we are equals professionally. We even share a similar philosophical outlook on life and the icing on the cake is that he’s fine! He knows that I feel all these things about him because I’ve not been shy about sharing my daydreams and thoughts with him. That is until recently when we finally decided it was time to allow our relationship to get physical. I was speechless after realizing the man I've been daydreaming about is working with a “tiny package”. I have to admit, I was totally turned off and kind of conveniently stopped returning his calls as quickly after we had sex. But he’s persistent and keeps calling saying he knows “what we were building was solid”. Neycha, his package is definitely a deal breaker in my book. But I don’t know whether or not I should tell him the truth for fear of hurting his feelings. I know I have to tell him something so I won’t keep wasting his time, but I’m not sure what to say when he already knows that I adored everything else about him. Any suggestions?
Not Into Tiny, NYC

A. Dear Not Into Tiny:
Bless his sweet heart! (poor pookie) and yours too for being so concerned. I have clients who’ve laughed at the launching of small rockets before they could even take off and obviously been much less considerate than you.

Let’s face it, even though we have to accommodate all kinds of BS from boys complaining about what’s too big on our bodies and what’s not big enough, we generally have the emotional stamina to handle it – if for no other reason than we’ve become comfortably aware of what men fancy as is dreamt up in the media we’re force fed everyday.

But I would not bet even the bubble gum in my purse on the fact that the AVERAGE man can handle hearing that you’re passing on him because he’s packing light! Are you kidding me?! Think of the potential collateral damage it would create in his life moving forward – and the sista’s too – if he were to have problems launching because of a relentless self-consciousness your words provided. Maybe it’s not even news to him. But do you want to be the bearer of that gift lovey?

I know some sista’s would argue (and I agree in large part) that we protect men’s feelings way too much when it comes to funky shagging – letting them believe “they really bringin’ it” by faking orgasms and such. But it’s one thing to tell a brotha’ that the motion in his ocean leaves a lot to be desired. (This they should know.) It’s another thing entirely to tell him that his ship is wrecked. Pass on this one lovey – the hardcore truth. Instead, be honest and tell him that you find yourself not as interested as you originally felt and that you wish him well. If he’s as tiny as you make him out to be, he will need it. Bless his heart!

Rock on,
N

Last Updated on Thursday, 25 March 2010 22:06